well I can't set my house on fire every night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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