ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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