dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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