I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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