Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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