At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm bleeding and have questions
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize