Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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