Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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