yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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