ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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