I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
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You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
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This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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