girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize