Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
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Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
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She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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