Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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