Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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