so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
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AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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