is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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