Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize