when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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