btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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