I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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