I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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