So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize