I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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