There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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