Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
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he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize