I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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