Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize