i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize