i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
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Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
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I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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