I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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