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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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