no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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