my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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