I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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