I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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