You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
BRING THE BAGELS
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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