we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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