so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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