hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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