bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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