Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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