His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
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She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
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Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my nose is crying tears of wow.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize