He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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