Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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