Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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