i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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