Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize