I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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