That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
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Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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